Well I am just not much of a blogger. I want to be better, but I have TSOS. What is TSOS you ask? Well it is The Shiny Object Syndrome. If we can have Restless Leg Syndrome then why not Shiny Object Syndrome :) So as I was saying I get distracted easily and I have the best intention to post, but I just don't. So I am going to do better with my posting for I really want a record of my journey. This will be my last surrogacy (I mean it honey) so I want to make sure I enjoy every moment that I can.

On the surrogacy front I am supposed to be starting BCP on Sunday if my AF shows up on time. I am so not looking forward to going on BCP for at best BCP and I have an adversarial relationship. I of course will take them, but so not looking forward to it. I am them supposed to start injections on April 21, but so far I do not have a contract and without that nothing can happen. I am sure I will have a contract soon, but of course I have the patience of a 3 year old at a candy store. So I sit and wait each day hoping that the attorney will get in contact with me soon. I only have so much hair to pull out.

On the home front things are going well. My oldest DS will be graduating college in less than 2 months. I am just so very proud of that kid! My DD and I are getting along better. She has been hanging out at the house more and she is really trying or doing a good job of faking it. Either way I am fine with her behavior. My youngest DS is doing well and finally went out for a team sport. He is playing volleyball and he really did a great job at his game yesterday. I was just so proud to see him doing so well. The oldest DD who graduated from college 4 months ago still does not have a real job. She is looking for a job per her, but I have the feeling she is looking as hard as my abs are after nine babies.

I thought my DH was going to stroke out when DD said she wanted to be a river raft guide this summer. He went on a rant about why did we pay all this money for college and is this what you want to do with you life. DH is right, but it was still fun to watch how mad he could get ;-)

Wow I can't believe it is already the middle of March!!!! I know it I say it all the time, but where does the time go?

So I believe I have been matched!!! I am so excited and looking forward to what this journey will bring. I do wish that my DH was more supportive of me being a GS again, but I know he has his reasons. I wish I could explain what being a surrogate means to me in words that he would understand. It is so hard to explain to somebody who just does not know why a surrogate does what we do. My DH has been wonderful through my other journey's so I can't complain. He is a wonderful man who will not stop me, but having his full support means would mean the world to me. Also I think that I have been fairly reasonable with the surrogacy's for I did not do them back to back and it has been almost three years since I have been pregnant.

I also know that he does not believe this will be my last journey. I am not sure how to convince him that it truly is the last time I will be a surrogate. In life you know when you are ready to move onto to something new and I know after this journey I will be ready to move onto the next phase of my life. I personally know that I want to get a tummy tuck and start to travel more.

I love being a surrogate and am looking forward to this journey, but know that I can't and don't want to do this forever.

Okay enough of my whining. My DD went to live with her father and things have been a lot better around the house. I still see her quite a bit, but for the most part she is at her Dad's. She is also doing better in school and is working hard. If living with her Dad is bring out the best in her then I am all supportive. I want my DD to be happy and successful. She is a good person I just need her to see that for herself.